Brotherhood (19/27)

[nightspear]

Title: Brotherhood (Table of Contents)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine. I gain nothing of material value from this.
Pairings: Gen.

Chapter1	Chapter2	Chapter3	Chapter4	Chapter5
Chapter6	Chapter7	Chapter8	Chapter9	Chapter10
Chapter11	Chapter12	Chapter13	Chapter14	Chapter15
Chapter16	Chapter17	Chapter18	Chapter19

XXXXX

Absence

XXXXX

13 January 2000; Cimmeria; 1820 hrs

The Asgard were the most powerful of all their allies. Perhaps more importantly, Thor liked Jack. Daniel and Teal'c had decided these were good reasons to try Thor first, after a quick trip to base to pick up uniforms and get final instructions. In the rush, Daniel just barely remembered to tell General Hammond about the Abydos secret chamber and to ask for SG-11 to take a look before he left for Cimmeria with Teal'c.

"This way," Teal'c said. when they stepped out of the Stargate, ignoring the scanning beam of Thor's Hammer and heading directly through the surrounding woods.

As they made their way toward the pillar that would take them to the Hall of Thor's Might, Teal'c told him more about what had happened: about the naquadah that had hardened over the Edoran 'gate like an iris, about the particle accelerator Sam was building based on Sokar's past tactics, and about the only way to get to Edora through the Stargate, which seemed to be...

"You're going to dig through rock and...and solid naquadah by yourself?" Daniel said. "On a limited oxygen supply?"

"Indeed," Teal'c said, not looking concerned. Daniel decided he'd just be concerned enough for the both of them put together. If they got a ship to use, they wouldn't have to resort to that.

When they reached the monument that would transport them inside the Hall, Teal'c palmed the stone, and the transportation beam engulfed them.

They were both ready with their flashlights this time, and their eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness. Teal'c's light found the stone at the other end first. Daniel watched it, beginning to feel frustrated with the wait, until finally, the hologram of the Viking warrior appeared.

"I am Thor," the hologram said. "You are brave to come before me."

Daniel waited for Jack to roll his eyes and tell the hologram to move it along, please, we're on a schedule here. Teal'c breathed quietly beside him. No one moved or spoke. Daniel sighed.

Once the floor fell away from in front of them, Daniel tried to break the silence by saying, "This was the test of...what was it...true selflessness and bravery, wasn't it? Will it count as being selfless if we know it's not real? I mean, it's just an illusion, right, or does it actually somehow sense intention, as well? I mean, it's not just going to let us walk across, is it?"

Teal'c paused, then stepped onto the narrow ledge. "It is unimportant. Follow me."

When they were near the middle, Teal'c bent down, picked up a pebble, and threw it over the edge. It clattered and fell...and fell...and fell...

"Okay," Daniel said nervously "Maybe it's not just an illusion and it only reverts to being solid ground if we pass the test, and we only pass the test if we show true selflessness, and if we already expect it to--"

Teal'c jumped off the edge.

"Teal'c!" Reacting on instinct bolstered by a jolt of terror, Daniel dove toward him and grabbed frantically at Teal'c as he began to fall over the edge, both of them already being pulled over...

He landed on solid ground, trembling with adrenaline and holding Teal'c's ankle in a death grip. The illusion-but-not-illusion-but-actually-illusion disappeared.

Teal'c pried his fingers away from his ankle, sat up, and regarded him calmly. "Your intentions are honorable, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said. "However, I would advise against such a maneuver in the future; my weight would undoubtedly have killed us both."

Daniel gaped at him, furious.

Thor's avatar reappeared. "You have shown true selflessness and bravery..." the Viking started.

"I thought you were going to die," Daniel said, ignoring the hologram. "On purpose. I can't believe you did that on purpose. We could've just walked across!"

"We accomplished our task," Teal'c pointed out. Daniel glared at him, then glared at Thor's hologram, which was still talking. "I apologize," Teal'c added, sounding only a little remorseful. "I did not wish to take the risk of simply walking across if intention is indeed judged, and I trusted you to act as you did."

Daniel thought he might have thought of something else with time, but time wasn't something he wanted to waste at the moment, so he conceded, "Fine." He marched to the stone at the other end and touched it to cut the hologram off mid-sentence. The room dissolved around them.

Once they rematerialized, Teal'c said, "Are those the same runes we encountered last time?"

Daniel ran a cursory eye the runes on the wall. Thurisaz, pertho, algiz, hagalaz. "Yeah, same thing," he confirmed. "Three, fourteen, fifteen, nine--the circle."

Teal'c found the wall with geometric shapes and drew a line through the circle. Daniel watched impatiently as the circle faded away to reveal a red stone, and Teal'c reached in to grab it. Movement caught their eye, and they looked back toward the platform to see...

...the hologram of the Viking warrior.

Looks like you got the answering machine, Jack quipped in Daniel's head.

"You have become a great people indeed," Thor's hologram said as Daniel fumed silently next to Teal'c, whose face was frozen in a frown. "I know now of your wisdom and will--"

"Thor, are you there?" Daniel tried yelling. Thor's hologram ignored him, finished talking, and raised an imperious hand. "Oh, no..."

He landed back outside in the Cimmerian forest, watching Teal'c glower. They'd forgotten to take into account the fact that the Asgard lived in another galaxy in the middle of another war. However powerful, they were the least likely to be available; Thor, in fact, had used the only ship available to bring them a warning during the Protected Planets summit last year, and he, the commander of the Asgard fleet, must be even busier than most in wartime.

"We will ask the Tok'ra next," Teal'c said, turning away and already moving off toward the Stargate. "You have interacted with them before, Daniel Jackson. Perhaps you should speak with them; the Tok'ra still appear to be uncertain of Jaffa."

"Is this why you came to Abydos to get me?" Daniel asked, following. "To talk to the Tok'ra."

Teal'c glanced at him. "No."

"Oh," Daniel said. "Thank you."

...x...

13 January 2000; Vorash; 2000 hrs

"Unfortunately," Garshaw said once she'd taken the Edora 'gate address and figured out where it was in relation to Vorash, "the Tok'ra do not have the resources to spare for such efforts."

Lantash was there, too. Martouf most often took control, as the calmer of the two--unusual but not unheard of among the Tok'ra--but Daniel supposed the fact that Lantash wasn't yelling at them already was a sign of good will. "Consider," Lantash said. "Even when we believed Sokar was close to victory, the best ship we had was a damaged teltak. Colonel O'Neill's situation is regrettable but not a high enough priority for us to abandon our current missions."

"Since it was the actions of Colonel O'Neill and his team that saved your own life and killed Sokar, Lantash," Daniel said stiffly, "we hoped you would find his continued survival a priority."

Jacob had taken control from Selmak--usual for them while dealing with the SGC--and said, "Daniel, if there were anything we could do right now, we would. Selmak and I would, ourselves. The fact is, we have very few functioning vessels, all of which are away, and some of which are deep undercover. There is literally nothing we can do."

"Nothing?" Daniel asked.

Apologetically, Jacob said, "Eventually we might, but I don't think you realize how big the galaxy is, Daniel, or how far away Edora is."

"But...hyperdrives--"

"Hyperdrives still aren't instantaneous. Even if we had the resources, which we don't, it would take over a year to get there. It's just not feasible right now. You understand?"

Daniel swallowed. "Yes, sir."

"The Tok'ra appreciate the efforts of the Tau'ri," Garshaw added, "but there are some things that are simply not in our power. We will, of course, inform you immediately if a solution becomes available to us."

"We understand, Garshaw," Teal'c said.

"I am sorry about Colonel O'Neill," Selmak said sincerely. "We hope you find him."

...x...

13 January 2000; Orban; 2100 hrs

"No, we do not have interplanetary travelling capabilities without the Stargate," Kalan said. A boy they didn't recognize stepped forward. "But we gain knowledge and progress quickly. Please explain these 'ships' to Loman."

"Maybe...some other time," Daniel said, uncomfortable in their presence.

"Do you want to see the playground?" Kalan asked enthusiastically.

Teal'c looked just as discomfited. "We cannot. Our time is short."

...x...

13 January 2000; Tollana; 2230 hrs

Daniel wanted to try the Nox homeworld--their Stargate had to have been unburied for Lya to attend Skaara's Triad. On the other hand, it was also possible that the Tollan simply had very long-range communications devices, and the Nox had unburied the 'gate for that short time only. Teal'c suggested that they not try it and risk being smashed to death.

So by the time they arrived on Tollana and Narim escorted them to stand before High Chancellor Travell, Daniel was ready to scream. "It will take a year?" he said. "But...Your Eminence--"

"We have been experiencing difficulties of our own," Travell said, looking down from her seat above him. "We cannot spare all of our resources at the moment."

Daniel was aware of Teal'c's subtle shift, a brush against his arm telling him to stay calm, and Teal'c took a step forward to say, "Colonel O'Neill and his team saved your homeworld. You said that you owed the SGC a debt; we are asking that you help him now."

For some reason Daniel didn't really understand and didn't really care about at all, Travell's usual unfeeling smile had been replaced by a thoughtful expression. "You are saying that Colonel O'Neill has been cut off from your Stargate," she repeated.

"From our Stargate and from all other interplanetary travel or communication," Daniel clarified. "The last time we were here, Colonel O'Neill acted for the wellbeing of the Tollan people, Your Eminence, despite many accusations. Now his life may be in danger, and we need your help."

"Please wait here," Travell said, standing. "I will consult with the rest of the Curia."

When the door slid shut behind her, Daniel crossed his arms and watched the door, wondering how long they'd have to wait for it to open again. Behind him, Teal'c was asking Narim, "What are the difficulties of which High Chancellor Travell spoke?"

"Are they more difficult than having your ion cannons explode while you watch a Goa'uld try to kill all of you?" Daniel said snidely. Teal'c frowned at him. He looked at his feet but didn't feel like apologizing.

"Your question is understandable," Narim said. "However, they are affairs of the Tollan."

"I just don't understand why it would affect your ability to help Jack," Daniel said as politely as he could manage. A guilt trip or verbal sniping were the wrong tactics for dealing with the Tollan. "Surely your ships have hyperdrives that could reach Edora in less time?"

"A number of our ships have...sustained damage, you might say," Narim said. "That is all that I can say for the moment."

"Major Carter is attempting to build a particle beam generator to free the Stargate enough to reach Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c said. "Can the Tollan help us in that matter?"

"We do not possess such a device," Narim hedged.

"But it would go faster if you helped her build one, yes?" Daniel said.

"We cannot help to develop technology," Narim reminded. "It is against our policy."

Daniel bit his tongue when he heard Jack's voice in his head ranting about stubborn, pig-headed, cocky, arrogant, ungrateful...

The door slid open. Travell entered again, this time holding something in her hands that reminded Daniel of the device that had served as his summons to Triad. "The Tollan cannot immediately provide the aid you need to retrieve Colonel O'Neill," Travell said. "In a few weeks, we should have a vessel repaired that can be sent to search for him, which would reach Edora less than a year after that."

The Tollan were the last people they could ask. "Please," Daniel begged. "If your ships aren't ready, please at least help us to build the technology needed to free Edora's Stargate."

"The particle beam generator will be built, with or without you," Teal'c added. "Your help would only change how long Colonel O'Neill must be stranded."

Daniel wanted to drop to his knees, clasp his hands, offer something to show that he was willing to do anything if they would do this one thing for him. For Jack.

But the Tollan respected propriety and dignity and composure more than emotional appeals. Daniel knew that--knowing that was his job when they were in the field--so he straightened his spine, looked Travell in the eye, and said, "Please, your Eminence."

Still, his voice must have betrayed something, and, for once, her expression softened. "The Tollan have reached our current level of society by being uncompromising of our principles," she said gently. "We cannot change that now, regardless of the situation, but we will send a ship to Edora as soon as we are able to do so. Your personnel are, of course, welcome here at any time."

XXXXX

14 January 2000; Briefing Room, SGC; 0000 hrs

"The Tollan can have a ship in that part of the galaxy in just under a year," Daniel told the general. "The Tok'ra don't have the manpower or the ships to make the journey right now, and if or when they do, it will take at least that long, as well."

"The Asgard could not be reached," Teal'c added, "but Major Carter has said that their hyperdrives appear to be superior to Goa'uld technology. We have seen the Asgard cross the galaxy in a short time. Perhaps we can return to Cimmeria and attempt to reach them again."

General Hammond folded his hands on the table. "There's no point in going now, unless you're going to camp out there and try every few minutes. Give it some time before you try again."

"Do we know how long it will take for the particle beam generator to be done?" Daniel asked.

"Major Carter estimates three to four months. It depends on how fast they can work and how well their testing goes," the general said. "She doesn't want to rush and make a mistake--once we use it, whoever tries to dig through the rest of the rock will only get one chance." Daniel chanced a look at Teal'c, whose expression was unreadable. "All right. Teal'c, Major Carter is in her lab--could you let her know what happened?"

Daniel checked his watch. "She is, still? It's...late."

"I will also remind her of that," Teal'c said, standing with a small bow and leaving the room.

Then the general turned to Daniel. "Dr. Rothman was enthusiastic about the Abydos research prospects--SG-11 is already there. Do you know anything about this place you found?"

The only thing Daniel's frozen brain could think of to say was, "Jack's missing."

With a sigh, the general said, "And anyone who can possibly help in bringing him back will be doing so, but this doesn't look like something that will be resolved in a day, or a week. Our operations have to go on in the meantime, Mr. Jackson."

Daniel looked down. "Yes, sir. And...no, sir, I can't tell you very much about the chamber. We took the laser sight from one of the guns and, uh...basically, there's a crystal of some sort on the wall in question, triggered to open by a focused, red light. There are a lot of artifacts inside, some of which look Abydonian, but, as I mentioned earlier--"

"There's something in Ancient there, too," the general finished.

"Yes. We'd opened it literally less than a minute before Teal'c came, or I might be able to tell you more. I did leave my notes with Skaara to give to Robert."

"Any guesses?"

Daniel hesitated, then admitted, "Not really, yet. The text on the walls suggests that Ra put them in there, not a being of some other race. Without translating that tablet or knowing more about the place, I don't know what a Goa'uld was doing with an Ancient tablet or why he wanted to hide it...and there's a lot more I wasn't able to see."

"All right," the general said. "So. What will you do now?"

He bit his lips. "There's nothing I can do for Jack, is there?"

General Hammond shook his head. "I think we just need to wait for Major Carter now."

"Do you need me here, sir?" Daniel asked.

"We certainly have a place for you," the general said. "You could resume your previous duties--you don't need me to tell you how much of an asset you are to us. But if you choose to stay on Abydos with your family instead, the SGC won't collapse, either, and we'll stay in contact."

This was it, then. As it turned out, the choice was obvious--not easy, perhaps, but simple. For all he had tried to deny it to himself--and to Skaara--he had made the choice already.

"I'd like to stay," Daniel said. "I think it was only a matter of time before I came back, anyway."

"Is this just until Colonel O'Neill's return?"

Daniel shook his head. "My brother and sister are safe. If you can use me, I think I can do more good here, at least until the Goa'uld are defeated."

"That might be a while," the general said. "Years, possibly not even in my lifetime. You'll have opportunities to go to Abydos, of course, but I need to make sure you know what you're committing to, so I'll ask again: are you sure?"

"Yes, sir," Daniel said firmly. "This is my choice." In a way, it was liberating to choose this as a job or a way of life instead of something he'd been thrown into. "I would just ask permission to check on Abydos first to collaborate with SG-11 and ask if they need my help there."

The general raised his eyebrows. "You wouldn't mind being here on Earth while a mission is ongoing on Abydos?"

"Robert's the expert and the one best suited for that type of mission," Daniel said. "If I'm working here, he's my only direct supervisor until Jack...well. If Robert needs help on Abydos, I can stay there, or if he or you want me here, I can do that, too. Since he's going to be away and SG-1 is on stand-down...if you need an extra person, I'll do whatever I can. Whatever you need."

Moreover, Sam was going to be working without pause for the next three months, and he wanted to keep up to date with her progress and make sure she didn't forget to sleep, too. Abydos was safe, and if staying at the SGC would let him do some good and keep an eye on Teal'c and Sam to make sure no one else went missing, he'd take that. He wanted to be here when Jack returned, and lingering on Abydos was just going to make it harder to come back.

General Hammond raised a fist to cover a yawn, and Daniel realized the hour was late for everyone, and that they'd probably been agonizing over Edora for much longer than he. "Your belongings would be at Colonel O'Neill's house, is that correct? I'll have someone drive you there to pick them up."

"Actually, sir, maybe I could check on his house? At least...mail and things like that. If I can get a ride back to base in the morning--well, later this morning--could I spend the night there?"

The general looked indecisive for a moment, and then said, "I don't see why not. Gather what you need and get some rest while you're there. Make sure the doors and windows are locked. I'll send you to Abydos in the morning to tie up any loose ends, and you can report back when you're done."

XXXXX

14 January 2000; O'Neill/Jackson Residence, Earth; 0100 hrs

"You'll be picked up at 0800, Mr. Jackson," the man in the car told him when they pulled up outside Jack's house.

"Thank you, Airman," Daniel replied automatically. He braced himself for the cold and dashed out of the car and to the front door, still in his BDUs--his coat would be inside the house. Even going as fast as he could, the bottoms of his trousers were damp from snow and his fingers trembling when he reached the door and tried to fit the key in, although he couldn't have said whether that was from the cold or from reaction to...well, everything.

By the time he wrestled his way in and slammed the door shut behind him to trap the cold out, he decided he could use a bit of time to deal with the shivers and slid down to sit with his back to the door. The house was dark, and Daniel took a moment to panic when he couldn't remember where the light switch was. Then he noticed the snow melting off his boots and onto the floor and shook himself. He stood, locked the door, and flipped on the switch next to his head.

There, he thought, methodically taking off his boots and snow-wet socks and searching for a towel to wipe up the water. Easy.

Jack had left a mug and the coffeepot in the sink and some rancid takeout on the table. Daniel wandered through the kitchen and the rest of the house, looking for things to clean up and put away. If SG-1 had been on Edora for over a week, Jack probably hadn't come home in quite a while, and the contents of his kitchen showed it.

Daniel hesitated with the refrigerator open. Things would start to go bad in the next three months. And then, there might be other things that usually had to be taken care of over time that he knew nothing about. What did Tau'ri usually do in situations like this?

"I'll ask Sam," he said aloud to a mostly-empty and very sour carton of milk as he poured it down the drain. "No, Sam's busy. Maybe Robert." Who was off-world. "Or Ferretti. Someone will know what to do." The milk glugged at him in response. Daniel sighed and threw the carton away. The house was too quiet.

As Jack had promised, everything Daniel owned on Earth was still packed neatly in three boxes that sat in the middle of his bedroom. He'd be getting out of the Mountain even less than before with Jack gone (just temporarily), so he emptied one of the boxes and repacked it with a few sets of civilian clothes, books, and essentials.

See? Jack's voice teased in his mind. Told you. You couldn't stay away.

"But now you might be dead," Daniel retorted.

Then he had to stop and sit down on the bed for a minute to catch his breath before continuing to flip through his belongings. It was unnerving to have the house so quiet, but it still felt stupid and a little crazy to talk aloud to no one, so he stopped. He'd never been alone, and out of radio range, in a building off-world before--

He shook his head. He needed to reorient himself once again. Tau'ri wasn't off-world. Tau'ri--Earth--was a home now. This was his home, and there were things he needed to take care of.

It was almost three o'clock when Daniel decided he'd finished what he could and should try to sleep before returning to work tomorrow. A quarter-hour after that, he remembered that there was a mailbox outside the house and climbed back out of bed, digging his coat out of the box. He gathered together the envelopes Jack had received and slipped them into his bag so he could ask someone on base what he should do with them, then crawled back into bed.

Then he remembered the answering machine and crawled back out.

And then he thought of the trash, by which point the bed had lost its appeal. The trash bin was partially buried in a few inches of snow, so after he got his pants wet again by treading through the snow in the driveway, he gave up completely on sleep. He set coffee to brew, because Jack wasn't there to tell him not to, and pulled his laptop out.

There was a lot of e-mail--everything circulating through Archaeo-Linguistics and messages sent to all personnel on base, to all field, research, or diplomatic personnel, or to all personnel with clearance above a certain level...everything had piled up in his account.

He settled at the kitchen table to begin skimming through a month of memos, reminders, and general comments about projects. At least, he decided ruefully as he poured himself real, brewed coffee for the first time in weeks, he'd have an idea of what was happening on base these days.

At five in the morning, Captain Hagman sent a department-wide message to ask for a second opinion on some Ancient translation he'd been working on, so Daniel responded and occupied himself in a long e-mail conversation, which turned out to be one of the more entertaining conversations he'd had with the man, mostly because they were both sleep-deprived.

'Wait are you still on Abydos?' Hagman typed in his seventh e-mail back to him after they'd settled on an answer to that particular Ancient question. 'how did you pulg in your laptop?'

'Yes, I'm still lightyrs away,' Daniel typed back. 'Didn't you hear about the internet connection Maj. Carter set up across wormholes?'

The response said, 'but theres no wormhole open'

Daniel felt puerile and snickered at his laptop as he drained his coffee cup.

'never mind, I get it,' Hagman wrote back a minute later. 'welcome back, BTW I'm putting all Ancient stuff they stuck me with on your desk. Hope you can find your desk under all the paper.'

'Thanks and you're welcome,' Daniel answered.

When a car pulled up at eight, Daniel sighed in relief, put away his laptop, and grabbed his pack and box, remembering to lock the door behind him.

XXXXX

14 January 2000; Pyramid Catacombs, Abydos; 0930 hrs

From the main chamber, Daniel could hear Robert's voice inside the secret room, but it was Skaara who noticed him first. "You look like a mastadge tried to eat you, then dragged you all the way from here to the village," Skaara informed him.

Daniel managed a laugh at the image. "What has been happening?" he asked.

Instead of answering, Skaara continued studying him solemnly and asked, "O'Neill?"

"There is nothing I can do for him now," Daniel said as steadily as he could. "Major Carter is building a machine that will help us to reach him, but it will take a lot of time."

Skaara nodded, then gestured toward SG-11, switching to English in deference to Lieutenant Sanchez and Sergeant Loder, who were both listening. "They arrived at nightfall. Dr. Rothman used the night to read your notes and talk to me. They began to work just now. And you?"

"If Dr. Rothman can use my help here, I'll stay," Daniel said hesitantly, "and...if he needs me to go back to the SGC, I'll go back."

"Ah," Skaara said, understanding his meaning. He sighed but didn't argue, only turning to lead Daniel toward Ra's chamber. "I thought you would say that. Come--he is in here."

As expected, Robert was more excited than Daniel could ever remember seeing him, although, to be fair, they rarely took in-depth research missions together, so maybe he was always like this. "Oh, man," he said once Daniel stepped in, "this is like...it's..." He waved his arms, grinning.

"Yeah, I know," Daniel said. "Just, uh, remember this is Nagadan territory. If we want to take anything, we need permission from Kasuf, or Sha'uri or Skaara if he's not around."

"I'm an archaeologist, not a thief," Robert said indignantly, but he was still looking around the room happily. "Most of the time, anyway. We'll get permission. No idea what this place is?"

"A hidden cache of...things," Daniel said.

"Oh, well, that's helpful."

"Then no, I don't really know. Listen, I need to do a few things around here--I never finished weapons maintenance upstairs, for one--but after that...do you want me here on Abydos or on base?"

That caught Robert's attention. "You're staying on Earth?"

"I'm staying with the SGC," Daniel said, and as soon as he did, he knew that was right. The SGC was based on Tau'ri but was so estranged from most of the planet that it was a unique society in and of itself, not fully entrenched in any planet's culture. It wasn't so different from Daniel himself. "As the Abydos liaison, of course, but..." He glanced at Skaara, hovering nearby. "I can be useful there."

"Yeah," Robert said. "So--" He stopped, then went on, "Okay. It'll take a while to catalogue all this. We're gonna go through every item here and make sure nothing's dangerous, and then let the Abydons in to see what they say about the rest. Finish your other business on Abydos, stick around and help us for a couple of days, and then head back to the SGC and pick up other projects. God knows we're falling behind again."

...x...

So after Daniel and Skaara finished cleaning twenty years of dirt out of the guns, he settled back down on the floor against a wall of the secret chamber with the Ancient tablet and a flashlight, a few Ancient and Latin references and a notebook spread in front of him.

Robert seemed to enjoy ordering SG-11 around. Major Hawkins rolled his eyes but took it in stride, and for his part, Robert didn't seem to notice when someone ignored him and listened to Hawkins instead in non-archaeological matters. It was a different dynamic from SG-1's, but it worked. Skaara walked through the room, peering curiously at the artifacts. Daniel focused on his task and relaxed into the white noise of people walking and talking quietly and occasional beeping sounds from a camera.

When Robert checked on him a few minutes later, he commented, "This is really ancient."

Robert raised his eyebrows. "You mean ancient, ancient, or ancient ancient?"

Daniel almost pointed out irritably that he couldn't hear capitalized letters but instead clarified, "It looks like a really old dialect of Anquietas. Take a look?" He handed over his notebook, containing the copied Ancient script and first-glance suggestions for the translation.

After a minute, Robert said, "Well...huh. 'Anqeetta.' Same as Anquietas, you think, just an older dialect?"

"I've been assuming that for now, but gaining a final 's' over time, and a long vowel only going through half a change...I don't know," Daniel said. "Seems unnatural."

"Maybe it's not a long vowel; it could be two individual ones. Or it's just written differently."

"Yeah, I guess. Maybe there were changes in sound, morphology, and orthography. Or..." Daniel sighed. "Or it's a different word entirely."

"We've never been able to determine whether Ancient is as homogeneous as the Goa'uld language across planets," Robert said. "It could be another dialect synchronic with other Ancient samples we've found, but from another part of the galaxy. Or another galaxy, who knows."

"I think there's actually a date here, which would be helpful, but I'm having trouble figuring out what it's relative to," Daniel said. "This is...probably going to take a while."

"That's okay," Robert said, handing the notes back. "Do what you can here; there are more references on Earth to check it against. If it's too busy back on base, put that on the backburner for now. Hey, can you go check in with the SGC--just let them know what's going on."

Daniel carefully set the tablet down and left to report their progress to the general.

...x...

16 January 2000; Pyramid Catacombs, Abydos; 1800 hrs

"I'm due back on base in three hours," Daniel said two days later. Several artifacts that were clearly not of Abydonian origin were being packed onto a FRED for him to take back while the rest of SG-11 stayed to continue examining the chamber. "Can I stop by Cimmeria first?"

Robert raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"To try to contact the Asgard again," Daniel said, turning to Hawkins. "Major?"

Hawkins pursed his lips. "Yeah, okay. Leave the FRED in the 'gate room. Loder, go with him, then bring him back here before his time's up." When Daniel opened his mouth to protest, Hawkins said, "You've got a reputation, Jackson. Stay within sight of Sergeant Loder."

With a sigh, Daniel thought that Jack would've trusted him not to run away--Daniel had only ever done that when he wasn't trusted to do the logical thing in the first place--but agreed.

...x...

Even expecting it, this time, when Thor failed to appear and his Viking hologram started to say, "You have become a great people indeed..." Daniel stuck his hand directly through the hologram's eye as he reached for the stone to beam them out.

XXXXX

17 January 2000; Major Ferretti's Office, SGC; 1100 hrs

"Do you have a minute, Major?" Daniel asked as he knocked on Ferretti's open door.

"Yeah, sure," Ferretti said, standing and waving him in. "What do you need?"

"Well," he said, "this is...kind of...it's not to do with work. I just...have a question, and I'd ask Robert or Sam, but he's away and she's a little, uh..."

"Overworked?" Ferretti suggested. "Yeah, so I hear. Go ahead, ask away."

Daniel pushed up his glasses and said quickly, "I went to Jack's house, and there were bills in the mail, and I don't know how people usually pay for them, so...I mean, I'll take care of them, but I was wondering if you could just help me...learn how it works. Sorry to bother you, but I don't know...uh."

Ferretti's eyebrows had shot up. "You sure you can cover it? If he misses a few payments while he's on duty, I'm sure it can be reimbursed later."

"It'll be less for him to deal with if--when he gets back, so there'll be power in the house and everything," Daniel said. "Besides, I'm living there, too, and it's not like I actually use money for much of anything most of the time--I should be able to cover a few months." And if this went on for more than a few months...well, that probably wouldn't happen. A lot of things would have to change if it did.

"Do you have an account somewhere?" Ferretti said.

"Yes, Jack set it up months ago--it's like Teal'c's, and everything goes in automatically, so I've never actually dealt with it before..." He dug out the papers he'd gone to Accounting to request that morning. "You don't mind?"

"He's my friend, too," Ferretti pointed out. "You know, anytime you need a ride to his house or anything else, just ask me, all right? C'mere, sit--it's not that complicated. Mostly, you just need to sort out the papers and find which numbers are the important ones."

...x...

Later, Ferretti said, "SG-12's translator has a bad case of pneumonia."

"Yeah, I heard," Daniel said, putting all the papers away. Captain Dertram was one of the Egyptian specialists, and Daniel had spent the last night finishing one of his more time-sensitive projects.

"Well, we were gonna sit out until he was better, but all the first-contact teams are stretched a little thin without SG-1," Ferretti said. "We can go it without him, but are there any other translators free who are approved for general exploration? There's a planet we were supposed to check out the day after tomorrow..."

Daniel grimaced. "None available at the moment, aside from me. Like you said, everyone's busy. Um...I can ask some of the civilians if they're willing. Or SG-14 is due back in a few days, I think. If you can wait, Lieutenant Astor's area of specialty is close to Captain Dertram's, and they're a second-line team, so their schedule might still be fairly light."

"Well, that just means someone else'll want Astor when she gets back," Ferretti said, narrowing his eyes. "You're approved? What am I saying--you were with SG-1. Of course you are."

"You want me to go with you?" Daniel said, surprised, but eager, too--if he'd been restless on Abydos, it was worse to sit on base and be useless, knowing Jack wouldn't be there for months, at least, if he was alive at all.

Not that Jack was dead.

Besides, he knew Ferretti and had served as many or more missions under the major's command, back in the early days, as he had under Jack. Teal'c was still taking missions with other teams if they requested extra manpower; maybe Daniel could do the same until his team was back together.

"If you're allowed, sure," Ferretti was saying. "MALP showed Egyptian hieroglyphs, which I know you know."

Daniel nodded. "I'd love to. But, uh...will the others on your team mind?"

Ferretti shrugged. "Nah. I'll vouch for you."

XXXXX

19 January 2000; P3T-314; 0900 hrs

Daniel started the trip with SG-12 already grumpy from a headache that he hadn't had enough time to drown with caffeine, but he made an effort to be particularly polite. He hadn't worked with Ferretti since the man had commanded SG-2, and by the time SG-12 had formed, Daniel had already started gravitating toward SG-1--these men didn't know him personally at all.

The first thing he learned with SG-12 was that the last time many people had heard from him, there had been rumors that he'd read something until he went insane, stolen a Tok'ra cargo ship to blow up Hell, and gotten deported to Abydos after being convicted at a Tollan trial. Everyone knew that was twisted somewhere, of course, but not everyone knew where, and even the truth wasn't exactly simple.

The second thing he learned was that Ferretti had very sharp ears for people whispering about rumors. The rest of SG-12 learned this at the same time that Daniel did.

"Sorry about them," Ferretti told Daniel, scowling at Lieutenant Whalley and Captain Haller once the other two stopped talking quietly among themselves.

Where were all the people on this planet? They'd been finding tracks that Haller said were fairly recent, as well as a couple of artifacts that were clearly manmade, but they'd passed the first set of footprints nearly three hours ago and hadn't found anyone yet.

"They're not completely wrong," Daniel allowed, looking around. "Besides, Jack says I need to grow another several years before people stop looking at me sideways just on principle."

Ferretti laughed. "I think they'll still be looking at you sideways when you're forty. You take some getting used to, Jackson." He slowed and dropped his smile. "Hey, what's that thing mean? That's gotta be a sign of life around here."

Daniel looked to where Ferretti was pointing, then sucked in an alarmed breath when he saw the symbol. "Korosh-ni. The Mask of Korosh-ni. We have to get out of here--we have to go back!"

"What?" Whalley said. "Why?"

"The...the...the atmosphere," Daniel said. "Radiation, and...uh...something. I don't know the details, but Major, we really have to leave. That symbol means they poisoned the atmosphere."

"Shit," said Haller, who had taken out a meter and was staring at its readout. "He's right, sir, the radiation levels are--"

"Let's go," Ferretti ordered, not waiting to hear the rest. "Back to the 'gate!"

...x...

"That was anticlimactic," Daniel said as he and SG-12 sat around the infirmary.

"That was lucky that you didn't stay any longer," Janet admonished. "All of your blood counts are lower than I'd like, but you should be fine in a few days--you probably won't even feel anything. Just in case, check in here every day until your counts are back to normal."

"But we have another mission in four days," Haller said.

"And if your blood counts are up by then," Janet said, "you can go. I'd like you all to rest as much as possible for the rest of the day, at least."

The general was standing by, too, and asked Ferretti, "Any idea exactly what happened?"

"Not really, sir," Ferretti said. "The people must've lived some distance from the 'gate; they might've died of radiation poisoning or whatever else in their homes without knowing what was happening. What was the symbol...the mask of...?"

Daniel rubbed the back of his neck. "The Mask of Korosh-ni. It's the same one that Teal'c identified on P3R-233," he added to General Hammond. "Apparently, it's a common code among the Serpent Guards--"

"Apophis," the general said grimly. "He's starting his attacks again."

"But other Goa'uld and Jaffa know the symbol, too, so we can't be sure which one was there."

The general nodded. "We'll lock that address out of the system, then."

"Doc, what about him?" Ferretti said, looking worriedly at Daniel. "He's had a headache--"

"I'm still getting used to the twenty-four-hour days again," Daniel interrupted. "That's all."

Later, when everyone had left, Janet caught Daniel's arm and said, "Are these stress headaches?" Daniel shrugged uncomfortably. "I know you might be having a hard time with Colonel O'Neill away," she said, "but don't overwork, get enough sleep... You know the drill. He'd tell you the same."

"I'm okay," he insisted.

Firmly, Janet said, "I can't have you and Sam competing to see who'll collapse first. If nothing else, then for my sake, just be responsible. All right?" Hearing it in that light, Daniel nodded and made himself lie down in his quarters to try to sleep.

XXXXX

10 February 2000; Archaeology Office, SGC; 1400 hrs

Daniel looked up when someone walked into the office. "Hi," Cameron Balinsky said, moving to scan the shelves.

"H'lo," Daniel mumbled back, but every time he tried to focus on Ra's Ancient tablet--on which he was still making only small and intermittent progress--he found himself glancing up at the back of the archaeologist's head.

Finally, Cameron turned self-consciously and said, "What?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Well, no, actually...you were there during the Edora fire rain, yeah?"

"Yeah," Cameron said, paling. He looked a little sick at the reminder, and Daniel remembered that the man was still in his trial period for fieldwork. "I--there was nothing we could do--"

"No, right, I know, but...I'm not blaming you or anything. I just. Cameron, can I ask you something?"

His expression serious, the archaeologist nodded. "'Course."

"Do you think it's possible?" Daniel asked. Sam and Teal'c...he trusted them, of course, but they were less than objective in this case. He wanted--needed--to hear it from someone else. "I mean, do you think Colonel O'Neill's alive?"

"It...it's definitely possible," Cameron said, and Daniel made sure he didn't allow his relief to show. "Teal'c and I found some caves--there were layers that showed a cyclic pattern of meteor strikes and evidence that people have survived it in the past."

"Okay." He took a deep breath and let it release slowly. This had happened before, and people had survived. Jack was good at surviving. "Good. Uh, was their language similar to anything?"

"Try Proto-Celtic," Cameron said, relaxing into the discussion. "Some Italic influence. You want to learn it?" Daniel nodded. "I'll send you a copy of my cultural and linguistic report and point you to some references. Our refugees were sent to the Land of Light until Edora's dug out, too--if you want, you can come with me next time I go to check on them."

"Thank you," Daniel said gratefully.

"Actually, did you want to take over that duty, since you're back? It's just checking in with them every so often to make sure they don't need anything. I'm working more closely with Colonel Dixon for permanent assignment these days, and we're getting busier than usual. I mean, just if you want,"  he added. "I can do it."

"No, I can do that," Daniel assured him. "Thanks, Cameron."

When Cameron returned the book to the shelf an hour later, Daniel said, "Can I ask your opinion on something? Does 'city of the lost' hold any particular meaning to you?"

"Not...really. Like a city of lost people?" Cameron said. "Dead, or directionally challenged?"

Daniel made a face at the tablet. "There's something about a 'contagio,' which I'm thinking..."

"Sickness, plague," Cameron filled in. "Yeah, I'm gonna say that's not a good city."

"Right," Daniel said, but he wasn't completely convinced of that. Certainly, the tablet implied it was something significant--well, if he was reading it right, anyway, which was a big assumption. But there had to be a reason Ra had been interested in it. "And then it says the people...they..."

"They what?"

"They...something," he sighed. "Akieetenti. Even that might not be right--the tablet's worn, and I'm not even sure of which letters are on it."

"I have no idea what that is, sorry," Cameron said. "Maybe it's accendere. They...went up. Maybe they took up rock climbing."

Daniel snorted. "Right. Well, thanks anyway."

"Sure," Cameron said. "Next Monday, Edoran refugees, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you," Daniel said again, then went back to work.

XXXXX

4 March 2000; PK4-297; 1700 hrs

"I don't get it," Captain Freeman said as Daniel and SG-2 trudged back after three days of looking for anything and finding nothing. The Stargate was just coming into view.

"Maybe everyone abandoned the planet," Captain Griff suggested halfheartedly, then raised an eyebrow in Daniel's direction. "So much for needing a translator, huh."

"Yeah," Daniel said. He'd been glad to be asked to fill the injured Captain Pierce's spot but was now disappointed at having found no one. "I don't get it, either. Didn't it look like--"

"Get down!" Major Coburn yelled. They dropped immediately to the ground. A staff blast sizzled on a rock behind Captain Griff, and Daniel looked around hurriedly to see whether to rise to his feet or crawl. "Ambush! Back to the 'gate!"

Staff weapons were priming around them, and Jaffa were appearing out of nowhere, closing in as if to stop them from reaching the Stargate.

Not enough, though, to have them totally surrounded. The Jaffa's numbers were too sparse not to take the chance and sprint.

Daniel reached down to his thigh and pulled his weapon as he ran, turning to the closest target. He only realized what he was doing when one of his bullets struck an unprotected face, and then it was red and splatters and an agonized scream, and a man was dead on the ground.

He froze in shock for an instant, and then a hand pulled him behind a large rock.

"Nice shot, kid," Captain Freeman said. Before he could answer, Freeman rose a few inches, shooting over the top of their cover before ducking back behind it. "Stay down, watch our backs," Freeman said, then rose and fired again.

Daniel glanced out from around Freeman to see Coburn and Griff spread out as well, not quite as close to the Stargate as he and Freeman were...and then rustling sounds made him turn, raising his gun before he could think, and--one, two, three shots--another Jaffa down. Not dead, but shot in the hip where Teal'c had shown him a weak spot between the armored plates, and Daniel stared at the man writhing only meters from him and thought he should end it, because a lamed Jaffa would be left for dead by his comrades anyway but could still pick up a staff weapon and fight. He didn't know when he'd pulled the trigger, but suddenly there was a spray of blood patterning the Jaffa's face and Daniel was staring at a dead man instead of a wounded one.

"Sir," Freeman yelled into his radio, "we can't hold them!"

Griff's voice crackled back, "I don't have a clear path to the DHD, but I can make a run for it!"

Another Jaffa to the side made Daniel turn--Cronus, he noticed, distracted by the tattoo and striking only unyielding armor once, twice, until Freeman's bullets joined his and the black Cronus tattoo was ground into the dirt. Someone was dead behind that one, and Daniel didn't even know if he'd shot him by accident or if Freeman had done it.

"Major, give me the word!" Griff again, sounding almost irritated now, which meant he was seconds away from taking the initiative, orders or no. He'd take the chance--of course he would; he was Griff--but it was the wrong choice, tactically. Coburn was hesitating, because he had to know it, too.

"Sir, I'll go," Daniel heard himself volunteer, not sure when he'd reached up to his radio. "I can get to the DHD!"

"I'm ready to go, sir!" Griff added. His head appeared from behind his cover long enough to meet Daniel's eyes.

The choice was made now, and Daniel threw back, "Sir, I'm a worse shot and a better sprinter!"

"Jackson, get ready to move," Coburn ordered, no time to argue or squabble when the Jaffa were moving closer, spreading out, snaking behind their meager cover... "On my mark, stay low and run--everyone cover him. I repeat, cover fire! Mark!"

Daniel dashed out from behind his rock, hearing the others begin to fire all at once as he sprinted.

"Jackson!" Griff bellowed just as he'd almost reached the device.

Daniel dropped to the side without a second thought, then threw an arm over his eyes to protect them as the staff blast exploded against the base of the DHD just in front of his face.

Someone was yelling as he grabbed the DHD rim, pulling himself just high enough to reach and dial Earth's familiar address as much by touch as by sight and slap a palm on the crystal. The vortex whooshed outward, and Daniel scrambled behind the DHD, knowing it was a little safer there--any trained Jaffa would hesitate in shooting rather than risk damaging the DHD.

"Go!" Freeman's voice said through the radio. "Iris is op--agh!" Daniel peeked out in time to see Freeman's form tumble backward.

"Fire in the hole!" Coburn's voice said. Not having seen where or what or when, Daniel nonetheless ducked back down, covering his head with his arms. A grenade exploded in the distance, and when Daniel looked back up, there was a brief silence and smoke and some fire and many more Jaffa lying still on the ground than before--

A sound made him twist around in the other direction to see a staff weapon aimed no more than a foot from his chest with more Jaffa emerging from farther back. Unthinkingly, he flung himself to the side and raised his pistol at the same time, pulling the trigger even as he saw the Jaffa fire his staff weapon.

From so close, the energy blast left him dazzled and half-blinded. Something slammed fire hot into his leg, and then something heavy crushed the right side of his body into the ground--gods, it was wet and hot, a Jaffa was bleeding to death on his arm, and he still couldn't really see, but unless he'd wounded the symbiote, he had to get out before the symbiote got him, get out get out get out--

Daniel blinked watering eyes and tugged hard on his pinned arm, pushing away with his free hand and trying to shove the armored man off himself. Before he could see what was happening, the weight disappeared. Someone grabbed him roughly under the arm, and Daniel yelled, twisting away from the blurry form--

"It's me, it's me!" Griff yelled, still firing with one hand. Daniel stopped fighting and pushed himself up, except his left leg was trembling and refused to obey him, so he held on as tight as he could as Griff dragged him through the wormhole--

...x...

"Comin' in hot!" Griff called, still pulling Daniel along and finally lowering his gun. "We need medics!"

"Let go," Daniel said through gritted teeth, trying to take more of his own weight. The lights were even brighter in here, but the spots were slowly clearing from Daniel's eyes as the SGC 'gate room came into focus. "I can--"

"Shut up," Griff growled, then, "Down!"

Breath whooshed out of him as he was pushed forcibly to the ramp, Griff's body over his, but he didn't complain when he saw the staff blast fly over their heads to crash on the concrete behind them. No longer in the thick of the battle, he closed his eyes and felt pain in his left leg build until he had to clench his fists to keep from gasping aloud.

"Close the iris!" Major Coburn yelled as he came through, a limp form slung over his shoulders.

The iris closed. The wormhole disengaged.

"Get off," Daniel said, trying to squirm out from under Griff. "C-captain..."

"What've we got?" Janet said as her team rushed in, followed by the general. She ran an eye over all of them as Coburn began a quick report, then crouched at Freeman's side, leaving two medics to look after Daniel.

"This your blood, Mr. Jackson?" one of the medics said.

He had to look to see what she was pointing at. Then he remembered his right arm was sticky and red and wet, but while it ached, it didn't seem to be seriously hurt. "Not mine," he said, but by then, she'd already figured that out and moved on.

"I think it's his leg--I saw a staff blast," Griff said. "You get hit, Jackson?"

"Guess so," Daniel said. "But it doesn't feel that bad--" He broke off with a pained grimace as he shifted wrong against the metal. "Ow," he breathed, his leg burning and his head spinning. The medic carefully pulled away the charred cloth near Daniel's knee, and he bit his lip against the jolt of pain, turning away to ask, "What h-happened to Captain Freeman?"

"Staff blast to the chest--he's going to the sarcophagus," Coburn said, standing over him, and, sure enough, a still form was being wheeled away. "I need to--Jackson, you gonna be--?"

"I'm okay!" Daniel snapped. He sucked in a sharp breath, trying to ignore the pain that was starting to demand his attention. "Sir. Is Freeman dead? Go with--"

"Yeah," Coburn said, moving away toward his fallen teammate. "Be back to check on you."

"Get him up--on three," the medic said, and then people were bullying Daniel onto a gurney.

"Debrief?" he asked, trying to see the general and figure out what was going on. He winced as someone lifted his legs onto the gurney and told him to stop fighting them.

"Get to the infirmary," General Hammond said, sounding a little stunned.

...x...

It didn't take too long for Daniel to be patched and bandaged up. He'd had been given something to swallow that he realized a few minutes later was for pain, and Janet had injected something and taped a dressing over his leg, declaring it a much milder wound than it could have been before letting him clean up and change out of his dirty gear. Bruises were showing up over his arm where it had been pressed between Jaffa armor and the ground, but he still had full range of movement and Janet hadn't insisted on treating it.

By the time Freeman was healed and returned with Coburn, Griff and Daniel had gone over the mission with the general in the infirmary, which consisted essentially of three days of fruitless search and a few minutes of more excitement than they'd expected.

"Mr. Jackson?" the general said, in a tone that said he was repeating himself.

"What?" Daniel shook himself mentally. Coming on the heels of the mild fatigue of even simple missions, the fog that crept in after an adrenaline rush was creeping toward exhaustion that made him feel empty. "Uh, yes, sir, that's all."

"Then I think we're done here," he said. To SG-2, he said, "You're dismissed."

"Me too?" Daniel said, looking to Janet as the three men of SG-2 lingered. There was a muted throbbing above his knee, but he was getting annoyed by the guilty looks on all the officers' faces, although he suspected he'd feel something other than annoyance when the anesthetic wore off.

"Actually, I'd like to talk to you," the general said. Daniel leaned back carefully against the pillows on the bed behind him and tried not to feel apprehensive as SG-2 finally took their leave.

"Sir?" he said. When he glanced to one side, he saw Teal'c walk into the infirmary. All thoughts that Teal'c might be there for some reason other than Daniel disappeared when the Jaffa moved to stand next to the general at his bed. Janet moved discretely away.

"Are you all right, son?" the general said.

"Yes, sir," Daniel said as he touched his bandaged leg self-consciously. "Dr. Fraiser says I was lucky--I'll be fine within a couple of weeks. I can still walk, even." Not that he felt like doing that at the moment, judging by how fiercely even the smallest movements seemed to stretch the burned skin.

The general nodded. "Good to hear that. How about otherwise?"

Daniel looked between General Hammond and Teal'c, thinking that he wasn't the one who'd needed a sarcophagus and that this was the second time he'd seen Freeman's corpse being carried through the 'gate. There were quiet concerns whispering through the base that the sarcophagus's presence was making people more reckless, but even after witnessing Skaara's withdrawal, Daniel thought privately that people with those concerns should get dragged into a fight with several Jaffa and see if they were more excited about being shot just because they'd been shot once before. Besides, Freeman and everyone else knew that people killed off-world rarely made it to the sarcophagus. Daniel had seen corpses that couldn't be recovered from the field, too.

"This wasn't the first time I've been in a combat situation, if that's what you mean," Daniel said.

"Unfortunately, that's true," the general said with a sigh. "Mr. Jackson, have you had to kill a man before today?"

"Oh. That. I...don't know, sir," Daniel admitted.

The general seemed surprised by the answer, but Teal'c said quietly, "This was the first time you fired a weapon other than a zat'nik'tel in battle." Daniel nodded, plucking unhappily at the dressing until Teal'c firmly pushed his hand away.

"I shot a few Horus Guards on Kheb," Daniel said, shrinking into the bed, "but it was dark, and there were so many--I don't know if I zatted any of them twice. And on the mothership, there were a few, but I didn't check them, and I wasn't in the best frame of mind at the time; I'd just come out of the sarcophagus." General Hammond seemed to be looking for the right way to answer, so Daniel offered, "I don't consider this the first time I've taken a life, sir, if that helps."

The general exchanged a glance with Teal'c, then said, "How do you mean?"

With a jolt, Daniel realized that he'd known he shared responsibility for the loss of countless lives but that he'd rarely thought of it so explicitly. "I don't know that it matters whether I directly killed people, or tried and failed to kill, or helped other people to kill."

"Sometimes," the general said, "that does matter. I don't mean just the outcome or even the morality of the action; I mean how you think and feel about what happened."

"Yes, sir, I suppose so," Daniel admitted. He rubbed his arm where he'd washed off caked blood less than an hour ago, then stopped when he realized what he was doing. It felt different to pull the trigger himself and see a person fall, and while he could tell himself that there was no difference, from a moral standpoint, it still felt somehow worse.

"Obviously, with that leg, you'll be out of the field until Dr. Fraiser clears you. Given what you've faced before, and your past experiences with our psychiatrists," the general said carefully, "I'm not going to force you to speak with someone. I do strongly recommend it, however."

Daniel's first reflex was to deny he might need it or that there would be any consequences, but he couldn't afford to do that anymore. He'd never truly been on his own here, and while he still wasn't now, he couldn't just say something and know someone would be there to fix it, not with Jack gone and SG-1 barely existing and everyone else so busy. He had to be responsible now.

"I don't think I need to, sir," Daniel said honestly after careful consideration. "Can I just talk to Teal'c, instead, if I...you know, if I want to talk?"

"At any time, my friend," Teal'c told him, which made him feel a little better.

"And he can always ban me from the mission roster if he thinks I'm handling things badly, sir," Daniel said. "No one has more experience with things like this than Teal'c, and he knows me."

The general seemed reluctant to leave it there, but he nodded. "All right. And if you do want to talk, you can come to me, too--and you have a lot of other friends on this base."

"Thank you, sir," Daniel said. A thought struck him, and he added, "Sir? Are you going to--could you...not tell Major Carter? It's just...she has a lot to worry about already."

"Not much stays secret here for long," the general reminded him, but Daniel didn't mind that; Sam was so buried in work these days that if she hadn't been alerted by the alarms an hour ago, she probably wouldn't hear anything about Daniel's getting shot off-world for a while. "All right. Take care, son."

Daniel waited for the general to leave, then closed his eyes and slumped a little where he sat. The infirmary suddenly seemed strangely noisy, full of mechanical buzzing and the faint scrape of shoes. Even Teal'c's quiet breathing seemed loud. It was hard to think straight, and it was hard to stop thinking.

Oddly, Daniel's mind kept returning to one of the Jaffa--one in particular out of many--who had been killed just an hour ago. Had Daniel shot him? He hadn't meant to, though he could have done it accidentally by aiming for and missing that other Jaffa who had been in front (whom he had tried and failed to kill). Had it been Freeman's bullet? How could it matter when he would have tried to shoot the man anyway if he'd had the chance? Besides, he knew it had been too chaotic to remember the scene clearly; anything he thought he remembered now was just as likely to be something his mind had created to fill in the blanks.

If only he could stop thinking about it.

Teal'c took a step toward the bed. "Of what are you thinking, Daniel Jackson?"

"That...it doesn't matter if I've killed before or not; I've participated in killing," Daniel mused. He opened his eyes to see his friend watching him closely. "I've never really thought about that too hard before." He remembered, then, the time he'd told Teal'c it didn't matter whether Teal'c had killed his parents; leading the attack and being part of it made him just as culpable either way. Still, there was a reason he'd never wanted to think too hard about that specific memory of that specific action--one way felt worse than the other. "But that shouldn't make me feel better. Why does it make me feel better?"

"It means that you have not suddenly changed from the person you were hours ago," Teal'c said.

He thought about that. "I suppose," he said, disturbed and disturbingly comforted all at once. Without warning, Daniel wished Jack were there with a breathtaking intensity that ached far more than his leg. There would be a joke, and maybe an attempt to evade the topic, but Jack would understand, and it would be all right.

"You should rest for a while before you leave," Teal'c said.

Daniel leaned back and started to pull the sheets into place around himself. "I miss Jack," he said, blinking as Teal'c helped him slide back down on the bed.

Teal'c paused, then said, "As do I."

Later, he saw Robert walk in and quickly closed his eyes as the archaeologist went to speak with Janet. Robert would be worried and possibly horrified, depending on how busy he'd been lately and how much of the story he'd heard from rumors, and Daniel didn't really have the energy to reassure him. He pretended to stir just enough for Robert to say, "No, sorry, go back to sleep."

But then he felt bad for pretending, so he said, "I'm okay," then closed his eyes before he had to say anything else.

...x...

5 March 2000; Major Carter's Lab, SGC; 0200 hrs

Sam didn't look up when Daniel entered. "Hi," he said, walking carefully so that it didn't look like he was favoring a leg. "How's everything going?"

"Too slowly," she said.

"Can I help with anything?" She shook her head. Daniel slipped his hands into his pockets. "Are...are you going home tonight? Or, uh, anytime today?"

"Tell Janet I'll go home when I finish this next part," Sam said distractedly.

Tamping down a surge of anger and guilt that he hadn't spent much time with her lately, he said, "Janet didn't send me, Sam; I'm your friend, too. It's just...it's late. You have to rest sometime."

Sam finally looked at him, her expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, Daniel. She was here earlier... Why aren't you in bed?"

"Well, I've been off-world for a few days. 'Gate lag. Feels like noon to me."

"You...you have?" she said, sounding guilty and frustrated even though she'd been far too busy to notice everything, while he felt guilty and frustrated because he couldn't be busy enough alongside her, doing something useful for Jack. "I can't believe I didn't realize you were away."

"It's not your job to keep track of me, and it wasn't a long trip," he said. "It's not a big deal."

"It is when I stop noticing," she snapped, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "God."

"Sam..." he started, then sighed. "I wish I could help you somehow. You're working too much, Sam, you know that, and...I just wish I could help. That's all."

She swallowed a yawn. "All right. You're right. Let me finish this section, and I'll stop and go to sleep. Wanna come in and...and..." She gestured at a relatively empty area.

He sank into the chair, more relieved than he wanted to admit to take weight off his leg, and quietly read something on the bench about naquadah decay that he didn't fully understand.

Eventually, she reached a point at which she could only wait for her computer to finish processing some simulation or other and sat back, rubbing her forehead. "I feel like I've barely talked to you at all recently," she said. "Or anyone else, really, but..."

"You've been busy," he said. "And I was away before Edora, so..."

"We should have a big 'welcome home' party once the colonel's back," she said with an attempted smile. "Are you doing okay with all this?"

"Are you?" Daniel answered.

"I miss him," she said frankly.

"Me, too," he said. They watched a bar on her computer screen inch forward past 43% and 44% and 45%... "I talked to the Edoran refugees a week ago. They're doing okay. And I checked Cimmeria and Tollana again on the way back. The Tollan ships are about six and a half months away from Edora. The High Chancellor actually came back to Earth to meet General Hammond, though, so that seems good from a diplomatic standpoint. And Thor's still not there...but he--"

"It's okay, Daniel," she said. "I know how hard you've been trying. It's okay."

"Narim says 'hello,'" he said. He raised an eyebrow at her. "He really misses you. I mean, he really misses you. It's pretty awkward." She laughed.

"Yeah, well. Don't worry; we'll get the colonel back," she said, then laughed again and gestured to her computer screen. "Yes! Here, look at this. This is the part I've been working on for the last couple of days--there was an error that kept showing up, and I've finally eliminated it."

"103% is good, right?" he said.

"Yeah, it's good," she said. "All right, now, next... I need to start optimizing the--"

"Sam," Daniel said desperately. She stopped. "If you don't want to go home, at least take one of the bunks. Or one of the guest quarters. How about, I promise I'll wake you up in the morning. Please?"

She bit her lip, looking between him and her computer, then said, "Okay. Yeah, I'll do that."

XXXXX

26 March 2000; Subbasement Room 2, SGC; 1000 hrs

"Kek!" Teal'c ordered.

Daniel squeezed and tried not to flinch from the bright flash as the staff weapon shuddered in his arms. The blast scorched the edge of a block of cement.

"Better," Teal'c said, but not in a particularly approving tone of voice. Then again, Daniel had let go of the weapon in surprise the first time he'd fired it, so 'better' really wasn't saying much.

"At least I hit it," Daniel said.

"If that had been a Serpent Guard," Teal'c growled, "you might have brushed the very top of his helmet--do not lower your weapon!"

Daniel jerked the wavering staff back up, gritting his teeth against the strain. It wasn't actually as heavy as it looked, but holding a long rod steady wasn't as easy as holding the shorter projectile firearms, and his muscles were starting to protest. Bashaak staffs were easier--at least those were meant for movement, not maintaining the same position for long periods of time.

"Loosen your shoulders," Teal'c added. Daniel complied. "Without dropping your aim!"

"For crying out--!"

Daniel stopped and exhaled sharply. Neither of them spoke. Daniel cleared his throat, rolled his aching shoulders, and readjusted.

"Kree ka," Teal'c said steadily. Daniel primed the weapon. "Kek."

After the next shot, Teal'c's hand pushed him in the chest, and Daniel staggered backward, nearly falling off his feet. "What was that!"

"As I suspected, you are leaning back," Teal'c said. "It compromises your balance."

"It's heavy."

"Then you must become stronger to use it. Ar'ee kree." Daniel planted the staff on the floor gratefully, butt down, but before he could relax, Teal'c snapped, "Yahs, kree lo'sek!" Daniel dropped to one knee and forced himself to raise the weapon again, looking for the angle to aim it upward and not have it slip and wobble away from him.

...x...

After lunch, they moved on to automatic Tau'ri weapons. "I don't think Jack will want me to carry one of these," Daniel said, feeling awkward with an MP5 in his arms. Most of his experience with these weapons was field stripping and loading them, not shooting them. "Am I even allowed to, according to the SGC's rules?"

"He would not object to your knowing how," Teal'c pointed out. "And should it become truly necessary, I do not believe that the SGC would object, either."

They covered the cement block with bullet scars and scorch marks for the rest of the day. The walls of the room got a little abused, too, but this room had already been relegated to practice for staff weapons--one of the early naquadah experiments years ago had been conducted in this room and damaged the lead shielding, so the room was mostly used as a restricted practice area now, separate from the regular ranges.

Eventually, even the sharpest of commands couldn't make Daniel hold a weapon steady, and he felt like he was still rattling from recoil and the shock of rapid, automatic fire alternating with measured, single rounds that, in truth, tended to hit wide of their mark. "Good," Teal'c finally said.

"Mmph," Daniel said, fighting the urge to drop everything--including himself--to the ground immediately. Taking no pity on him, Teal'c watched as Daniel carefully cleared the gun and only then took both weapons himself, freeing Daniel to stretch his arms as they left the room.

"I examined the artifacts from Ra's chamber on Abydos as Dr. Rothman requested," Teal'c told him.

"Yeah? What did you think?"

"Many seemed to be human artifacts, as Dr. Rothman believed. However, some of them appeared to be ancient Goa'uld weapons."

Daniel raised his eyebrows, turning. "Weapons? I wouldn't have guessed from looking at them."

"They are very old and inefficient weapons," Teal'c said, "less useful than Tau'ri weaponry or modern Goa'uld devices."

"But the fact that Ra was hiding some weapons in there at all..."

"Precisely," Teal'c said. "It does not surprise me that a hidden chamber in the central part of a System Lord's kingdom would be filled with items for a war."

"You'd think he'd have left something more useful than outdated devices, though," Daniel said. "That's really odd. SG-11 didn't find anything more powerful than a lamp, but I was so sure there would be some...some huge purpose to that room."

"It is possible that Ra used that chamber many years ago, when the weapons would not have been considered ancient. Did you not find a tablet to explain the chamber's purpose?"

"Actually, I don't think the tablet has to do with Abydos or Ra at all," Daniel said. "Oh, but it's really interesting--I think it talks about the last of the Ancients. Either they were killed by a plague, or they were around a race of humans that were killed by a plague...something like that. Either way, I'm going to have to put that aside for now, until we find more reference material to help with that dialect."

"I see," Teal'c said.

When they finished returning everything to the armory, Daniel said, "Sam says they're making good progress with the particle beam."

"That does not surprise me," Teal'c said. "Major Carter will succeed."

"I helped her tighten some screws yesterday," he mumbled. He felt a little pathetic just saying it aloud, but Teal'c understood.

"Continue training and studying," Teal'c advised him. "That is how you can be most helpful. When O'Neill returns, you will be even more prepared than before."

XXXXX

19 April 2000; Archaeology Office, SGC; 1000 hrs

The two of them, with Robert, were gathered one day to compile and update their current knowledge of the System Lords' statuses when Sam ran into the room, making them all look up. "Teal'c, Daniel," she said. "It's done! We're gonna try getting through the Edoran Stargate tomorrow."

Daniel stood. "I'll go tell the Edoran refugees," he volunteered. "And tell the Tollan we might not need their ship."

"I will prepare the necessary equipment," Teal'c said. "Major Carter, I will require your aid."

"Yeah," she said, nodding and gesturing impatiently for them to follow her. "I need to run a few tests, but I'll go over everything with you while that's running."

"I'll, uh...sit here," Robert said as they rushed out of the room, then called, "Good luck!"

---

From the next chapter ("Choice and Duty"):

"Not just like anything. I think," Daniel said carefully, "it's very hard to think about it in terms of choosing the life you like more, especially so soon. It's more about choosing the one you can't bear to give up."

"That's semantics," Jack said.

Comments

[sg-betty.livejournal.com]

Excellent chapter! Very eventful! More friendship with Carter, Daniel-wounded in the heat of battle and his first guaranteed kill, the Ancient tablet... That sarcophagus it tricky, in terms of storytelling, isn't it? I like the way we got to see the attempts to get help, rather than hearing about it. As I was reading about Teal'c training of Daniel, it occurred to me that this Daniel is likely to be a proficient fighter much earlier than canon-Daniel, and perhaps a better one (not that Daniel's any slouch in that department. ;)
PS. I was really hoping that a chapter would be posted today! :)

[night-spear1287.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it--this chapter did cover quite a bit, I guess. I'm not sure I'd compare mini!Daniel to canon!Daniel in terms of soldiering skills, but I do think there's more of an element of trying to fit into the military lifestyle (with varying degrees of success) that Daniel wouldn't have done in canon; there's a tension between military and academic-civilian that my Daniel observes but doesn't really feel. That will actually be addressed in an upcoming chapter, too.

Thanks!

[sg-wonderland.livejournal.com]

"This was Freeman’s second time already, and there were quiet concerns whispering through the base that the sarcophagus’s presence was making people more reckless. Even after witnessing Skaara’s withdrawal, Daniel thought privately that people with those concerns should get dragged into a fight with several Jaffa and see if they were more excited about being shot just because they’d been shot once before."

Coming on the heels of the recent sarc discussion and meta, this was especially thought-provoking. Would you be just the least bit careless if you knew there was a get-out-of-dead-free card back on base?

High points for me was General Hammond's concern about Daniel's mental state, in the wake of his first confirmed kill and the missing Jack thing. And, of course, any Daniel/Teal'c scene is always great.

Was your High Councillor visit a "Shades of Grey" omen? Or am I just overly suspicious?

[night-spear1287.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, omens all over this chapter, to be sure :)

It *is* interesting, that sarcophagus. Throughout the series, there's a lot of the theme of temptation and power in any form, and it seems that the sarcophagus is one representation of that, at least on some level.

Thanks!

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

Oh, lots and lots to like here! Daniel with Teal'c. Daniel with Sam. Daniel with Hammond. Daniel with Ferretti. Daniel with Robert. Whee! :)

"going upstairs" for Ascension... ::grins::

Very nice with the hints of the Curia realizing that Jack must be innocent of the thefts, and therefore worth involving. And I really like how you've portrayed the Tollan here in general, and Thor's answering machine! :)

It's lovely to see Daniel slipping seamlessly back into the SGC - with purpose, now, instead of as a means to an end as it was before. Great stuff.

ETA: I forgot to mention how much I liked your treatment of Daniel's first kill with Tau'ri weapons - how he deals with it, how the others react, and most of all, his longing for Jack. Superb.

[night-spear1287.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked. This was a big chapter that was lots of fun to write :)

[acarlgeek.livejournal.com]

I LOLed when they encountered the garrulous Asgaard holograms, :-). It was sad to lose the one in the previous chapter, but encountering them in this chapter had that much more impact for underscoring Daniel's anxiety about Jack. :-)

How SG-2 hovered guiltily over Daniel in the infirmary, and Hammond was RIGHT THERE to make certain Daniel has help dealing with his first confirmed kill. Well done: realistic concern but not too sappy.

Most everything else has already been commented on ("...went upstairs"), :-).

Great job!

[night-spear1287.livejournal.com]

The Asgard are so much fun--they're definitely my favorite of the advanced races (or at least the most easily likable) :)

Thanks!